It was a Saturday evening. We were in church for choir rehearsal. I was to take lead of the song. We were on stage. We had sang the song once but something was off with the syncopation of the instrumentalists. So we took a few minutes break for them to sort it out but still stayed on the stage.
Then I felt a trickle down my legs. 'Na sweat be this one abi na wetin', I thought to myself. It did not stop. Everywhere was noisy now. The singers had paired themselves up to gist while waiting for the instrumentalists. I told the next person I was going to the toilet just incase they asked after me.
I got to the toilet. No, it was not sweat. It was blood. I was losing my baby. I was wearing a black cloth, so I used a part of it to clean it, then I washed my hands.At that point I could hear my husband calling out for me. I put my legs tightly together to walk back in to avoid the blood trickle from dropping.
They were ready for me. I sang as tears welled up in my eyes. It was a good thing no one could see me as they were all behind me. I didn't tell my husband yet. I didn't want to distract him from rehearsal.
God so good, we sang it just once. I picked up a wrapper I took to church for Raphael and put it over the seat before I sat. I could feel the wrapper soaking up. Announcements were made and we closed. After everyone left, I told him what was happening. He helped me to the car.
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We found out we were expecting a few weeks earlier. The plan was to conceive when Raphael clocked one. I meant it when I said I wanted to be done with babies by 30. But tada! A baby was on the way earlier. We were excited. Only to be losing the baby? We even had a scan o.
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We got home that night and the blood began to gush with lumps. It was really happening. I cried and worshipped all through. I used layered sanitary towels to church, I still led the song and sang my heart out. Because even if I don't understand His ways, I trust Him.
It was painful but He said he will not give me more than I can bear. The foetus evacuated itself from my body throughout that week. By the next Saturday, we went for a scan where it was confirmed there was no longer a baby.
I cried o but we move.....
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A few months (or is it even a month sef) down the line, He blessed us with Joshua. The most precious child ever. Now that I think about it, I think God was saving me. My body was not yet ready. Today, there is no more pain. He turned our mourning into dancing. He really surprised us which is why we named him "Oluwajomiloju". He is a reminder that God always keeps his word and has our best interests.
JJ will be 6 months old tomorrow. My carbon copy 😜 (haters will hate @ehigochosamuel) is officially a big boy.
Indeed, time is a healer.
Xx
Your favourite writer girl,
Love.
