When you are the "people"
"Why didn't she leave?" Was it because of what 'people' would say?
Have you stopped to consider if you are the 'people'. If perhaps you may have contributed to the mental breakdown, shame, indecision and probably even death of an individual by your words; deliberate or not.
I've had my share of church hurt. The people whom you call your brothers and sisters putting you down without knowing the full story. Its the arrogance of righteousness that irks me the most. The feeling of "Can-never-be-me".
I suffered domestic abuse. I suffered the worst form of mental abuse. I had 2 suicide attempts and was severely depressed. So I left.
The 'people', my fellow brethren; the ones who were to have my back said:
"You hear say she don comot for husband house"
"I no say that marriage no fit work. Even Dangote pikin no get pride like her"
"She for kuku stay London marry oyinbo. She no go fit live with African man"
"You hear say her mama born for another man before she marry her papa? Na their pattern for their family"
"They say dem drive her comot o say she no fit born another pikin again"
Then there were the ones who had the audacity to say it to my face:
"Your parents may be rich but you must submit to the man. Stop all this pride"
"You are a reprobate"
"You better go and beg. No one will marry you especially now that you even have a daughter"
It didn't matter to the 'people' that I still deal with migraine because of the severe hit to my head or that my left eye is still functioning by the grace of God. It didn't matter to them that I stood in the middle of a busy road and prayed to be knocked down by a car.
When you listen and allow such conversations happen in your presence, you are the 'people'
When you contribute to such conversations with or without the correct facts, you are the 'people'.
When you gossip about people, you are the 'people'
When you make negative assumptions about people based on what someone has told you, you are the 'people'
When you troll people online, you are the 'people'
Yes, what you say matters! I could face 'the people' with my full chest because I had lost everything anyway but some others cannot and so they die in silence to avoid what 'the people's would say.
If we truly love ourselves as Christ loves the church. If we truly see ourselves as brothers and sisters and as a family; it would be easier to run back home.
Pray for your sister. Pray for your brother. Do not be interested in the gist. Just pray for them and if you can, be there for them.
Are you the 'people'?
(This is a rhetorical question that calls for deep reflection).
Matt. 25: 31-40
P.s to every one going through domestic abuse, know that God will pick you over your marriage in a heartbeat. Know that you are first someone before all the titles know that you have a predestined purpose before you became a wife. Know that he is a restorer, look at me. Leave!
You have all my love,
Your favourite writer girl,
Love.
