God, please make me white

I have a problem. I’m what you may refer to as a ‘Grammar police’. I just can’t look away when someone gbagauns makes a grammatical error. This has put me in a lot of trouble. I just feel like it’s my civic responsibility to correct such a person. So anyway, I was scrolling through updates on my BBM when I saw something that someone had written wrongly. I really reaaaalllllly wanted to mind my business but the nudge came again and I couldn’t ignore. So I messaged the person with my corrections. The reply I got has scarred me for life and I doubt I’ll be making any corrections in the future. Apparently, the person had been listening to a message and that’s how the preacher supposedly constructed it. Quoting him verbatim, he said, ‘Toor that’s what the preacher just said. He is white’. HUH (Insert surprised face).

I don’t even know how to describe the look on my face when I read that. I was in a state of shock, amusement and a little confusion. I was screaming ‘whaaatttttttttt’ in my head. So something that is conspicuously wrong is okay because it was a white person that said it. I have to be white.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of the proponents for ‘black is better than white’ or who feels like I have to prove that I am better than white people. That in itself is already a defeat. But c’mon, Nigerians really need to become more confident and be able to compete intellectually at a global level without feeling small. Well, that’s just my own 2 cents.

On a lighter note, here are a few prayer points:

God please make me god looking so I don’t have to work for anything in my life.

God please give me American/British or even Spanish accent so I can get a job as an OAP.

God please make me slim and tall so I can get free rides, the sun in this part of the world really does not smile.

God please provide me with an iPhone, I can even manage iPhone 4 just so people don’t think I’m suffering. You know the kind of phone one uses determines the respect you get from the society.

Finally, please give me a hot foine boyfriend so I can post pictures on Instagram because I haven’t started living till I have a man especially one I can show off.

Thank you God.

Ebunlola.

Dew, rain and sunshine….