He has made my heart happy

 I cried hot tears this morning on the altar as we (the choir) ministered our special song; Toya Eze by Tim Godfrey. I had managed to hold back the tears but as soon as we got to "Idiri Obim Mma" part, the flood gates were opened. It means "You're good to my heart" but my personal translation for that phrase is "You've made my heart happy".

Now back to why I shed tears. During the week, Facebook had reminded me about a post I made in 2017 about events in 2016. Right there on stage, the memories came flooding back. The period 2012-2017 were the toughest years of my life. The domestic violence, the abuse, the several suicide attempts, the strangulation I suffered, the maltreatment, the separation from my suckling infant, the several losses, the poverty, the deep sadness that eventually led to depression, the shame, the disgrace, the divorce, the starting over from nothing. I am no longer that person. God has made my heart happy. I am blessed with the best husband, amazing children. We are thriving. My heart is happy. The tears I cried were of joy. ÀséwéréniséOluwá

The reference post ⬇️

JUST BEFORE YOU SCREAM 'GOALS' (26th Nov 2016)

*The car in the picture is not mine. As a matter of fact, I 'backed' my daughter to cross the express road and used keke Napep (tricycle) to complete the journey. My friend ordered a cab to take us back home.
*The wig was given to me by the friend I was visiting. This was after she saw the state of the wig I wore to her house.
*That was not the dress I wore to her house. I changed into it after she gave me. I was wearing an okrika (fairly used) top I bought for N500 (it was even a gift to myself for sticking to my meal plan.)
*The sandal was my neighbour's. Said she couldn't let me go out with what I had on.
*I was smiling but my heart was greatly troubled. I went out without seeking 'permission' (from my ex spouse)I knew I wouldn't be given and I had gotten a call informing me I was in trouble. Still I posed for the picture while thinking my life was over that day.

Make no mistake however, I was very content in my situation. I was/am all about the will of God.

Looking at the picture without all these information, it looks like I was living the life. 😂 Don't let the gram fool you. EVERYONE is fighting their own battles. Don't feel frustrated because someone's life looks perfect on social media or outwardly while you can't seem to get your life together. People let you see what they want you to see. DO NOT compare your journey, marraige, relationship, business, children, parents, siblings, job, lifestyle, etc with anyone else. The only 'GOALS' in my life is Jesus Christ. He keeps it real. 💯💯💯💯💯💯With Jesus, there is no need for pretence. He went through every kind of temptation and he daily teaches us how we too can live above sin. There is no hidden or coded part to Him. You see EVERYTHING.

My name is Love, I am imperfectly perfect and my transparency makes people uncomfortable. I fell from grace to grass and I am not ashamed. Still, I rise.

I made pancakes today

 I made pancakes today.

Not after I had the most beautiful devotion listening to God's word at 4am (Thanks Brian of the Daily Audio Bible).

I made pancakes today.

I got into my w

orkout wear after my devotion to begin ny exercise for the day. Then oops, I remembered today was pancake day. 'I better get started', I thought and concurrently work out.

I made pancakes today.

I brought out my ingredients and utensils. I opened the tap to wash my utensils because those roaches are not loyal, but no water came out. Ugh

I made pancakes today.

Oh! It rained. I don't like rain. No no, not that I don't like rain but I don't like the consequences of rain. At least in Nigeria. Rain equals lack of power supply. Lack of power supply equal inability to pump water.

I made pancakes today.

Lack of water also means going late to work and school. How? The water heater will not work. We will all have to wait our turn at the gas cooker.

I made pancakes today.

Thankfully, there was still water in the tap outside. So we fetched, heated and had our baths.

I made pancakes today.

In the midst of the chaos, I opened Instagram and saw that Goodluck Jonathan is running for president under APC. Wow!

I made pancakes today.

It's 7:23am. We are all settled in school. God is always faithful.

Thankful that the pancakes were made in spite of it all. Pancakes make everybody happy.

Oops I forgot to add, the workout did not happen.

Have a great day ❤

Your favourite writer girl,
Love.

When you are the PEOPLE

         When you are the "people"

"Why didn't she leave?" Was it because of what 'people' would say?

Have you stopped to consider if you are the 'people'. If perhaps you may have contributed to the mental breakdown, shame, indecision and probably even death of an individual by your words; deliberate or not.

I've had my share of church hurt. The people whom you call your brothers and sisters putting you down without knowing the full story. Its the arrogance of righteousness that irks me the most. The feeling of "Can-never-be-me".

I suffered domestic abuse. I suffered the worst form of mental abuse. I had 2 suicide attempts and was severely depressed. So I left.

The 'people', my fellow brethren; the ones who were to have my back said:

"You hear say she don comot for husband house"

"I no say that marriage no fit work. Even Dangote pikin no get pride like her"

"She for kuku stay London marry oyinbo. She no go fit live with African man"

"You hear say her mama born for another man before she marry her papa? Na their pattern for their family"

"They say dem drive her comot o say she no fit born another pikin again"

Then there were the ones who had the audacity to say it to my face:

"Your parents may be rich but you must submit to the man. Stop all this pride"

"You are a reprobate"

"You better go and beg. No one will marry you especially now that you even have a daughter"

It didn't matter to the 'people' that I still deal with migraine because of the severe hit to my head or that my left eye is still functioning by the grace of God. It didn't matter to them that I stood in the middle of a busy road and prayed to be knocked down by a car.

When you listen and allow such conversations happen in your presence, you are the 'people'

When you contribute to such conversations with or without the correct facts, you are the 'people'.

When you gossip about people, you are the 'people'

When you make negative assumptions about people based on what someone has told you, you are the 'people'

When you troll people online, you are the 'people'

Yes, what you say matters! I could face 'the people' with my full chest because I had lost everything anyway but some others cannot and so they die in silence to avoid what 'the people's would say.

If we truly love ourselves as Christ loves the church. If we truly see ourselves as brothers and sisters and as a family; it would be easier to run back home.

Pray for your sister. Pray for your brother. Do not be interested in the gist. Just pray for them and if you can, be there for them.

Are you the 'people'?
(This is a rhetorical question that calls for deep reflection).

Matt. 25: 31-40

P.s to every one going through domestic abuse, know that God will pick you over your marriage in a heartbeat. Know that you are first someone before all the titles  know that you have a predestined purpose before you became a wife. Know that he is a restorer, look at me. Leave!

You have all my love,

Your favourite writer girl,
Love.

HOW I MET MY HUSBAND (FINAL EPISODE)

 Meanwhile, Ehigocho was always on my matter. Before the breakup, he felt I was always on the phone with him.

Hian! Uncle face your own relationship na, let me face my own. He began complaining that I was not having his time😂 As what na!

Anyway, as expected, Ehi was the first to know about the breakup and the revelations I had. My ex and I had blocked ourselves everywhere. Not out of anger but for peace of mind. I believe same for him. But there was one issue. My ex was really instrumental in the completion of #31mornings (My book). Many late nights even with the distance, encouraging me and pushing me till I finally published. I felt it was only right, he gets a copy of the book.

So I begged Ehi to help me contact him and find out how a copy could be sent to him. Ehi called, he declined but wished me all the best in the future. Ouch! I prayed for God to let him see why I had to walk away and heal both of us. A few months later, I saw that I had been tagged by him on Instagram on a post that read something along the lines of "Tag someone who is no longer in your life but was sunshine during their time in your life". For me, it meant all had been forgiven. That chapter officially closed.

I was back to being single, enjoying and living life. I now had a dream. I saw Ehi and I getting married and dancing. From where to where? How? I brushed it off.
"What's going on between you and Ehi?", my mum asked one day. I told her nothing. Then she said she had a dream and saw us getting married. There were more dreams by other people.

It was at this point I actually began to see him. Like really see him. Then I had a second dream confirming the first. So I knew Ehi was my husband but Ehi was in another relationship. I told God to tell him by himself and leave me out of it.

I withdrew from him. I wasn't calling and texting as I used to. I deliberately began to distance myself because your girl was already catching feelings for someone who was with someone else. It didn't feel right.

He was worried and asked why I was changing. I told him I felt like a distraction as it concerned his relationship. I told him not to call me more than once a day. He really missed me🤣🤣 We drifted apart but it was a time of pruning for both of us.

One Sunday evening, Ehi called me to say he was at the door. I went outside and saw he was covered in dust. He said he had gone on a long walk to clear his head. I tried to make banter but he had his serious face on.

He explained that he had been in love with me for several months (even all the while I began that previous relationship)and had been suppressing it because he did not even know how to begin. He also did not know how to break up from someone who was good and kind to him but was not his heart's choice nor God's choice.

He had to painfully walk away and was ready to do everything to get me to love him. Me that I had been loving him and was only waiting for him to catch up. Baba God, I see your doings!

We hugged it out, there was no need to form Let- me- pray- about- it. I said "Bros, make we begin, I don dey wait you". When we both shared different revelations we had, we were amazed at how God is so intentional. He was upgraded from 'Ehi' to 'Babe' on my phone. 😁

The next day, he was sitting across my father asking permission to court and marry me. A man of integrity, I stan 👏

This week, we celebrate the best 3 years of marriage with my purpose partner, best friend, baby daddy, Chief Encouragement Officer and all round guy.

It's how we play like kids and make our kids; the actual kids stare at us in bewilderment. It's the going everywhere together: Buy one, get one free.

It's the good-night pecks every night's and the good-morning warm squishy hugs every morning.

It's the sharing of responsibilities around the house and our resilience to get in kids in bed by 7pm so we can breathe 🤣

It's the hiding to eat things so our children will not beg us 🤣

It's his fine face for me. Charismatic walk and the voice of an angel.

It's how he indulges my love for Tiktok and learns every dance routine with me.

It's how he loves me.

Gosh, I love Ehigocho so much. Marriage is sweet o. Just marry your own.

Everyday, I bless God for my biggest gift. ❤
Happy Anniversary my love.

Your favourite writer girl,
Love.

HOW I MET MY HUSBAND 3

 This guy was a breath of fresh air. Bear in mind that I had begun to get suitors at this point. Including one who embarked on an 8 hour journey after I had said 'No' over the phone. Talmabout, "God said you are my wife". Miss me with that bruh! Na wetin first put me for trouble.

Anyhoo, this person was easy to talk with. Had this captivating and feathery voice. Too sweet. I had to ask if he did voiceovers or worked in a radio station. That's when he told me he was a thespian. Ah! Mo ti lazzdent! My father would never permit! (P.s I see him on my screen EVERYDAY because he is on a major soap opera on AfricaMagic showcase. When my husband and I began dating, it was uncomfortable watching him on screen together because I would always catch hubs using side eye to check for my expressions🤣 but now we analyse his TV character like there was no history).

It's funny how I didn't know him on the screen till we met then I began to see him everywhere. We began a relationship and he was the absolute best. We got my mum on our side and we're still plotting how to convince daddy to give his blessings when I had a dream. I saw us get married and go our separate ways. Omo! I cried o, begged God. Shared the dream with him, we prayed and cancelled it. A few weeks later, I had the dream again. Very clear.

Imagine breaking up with someone who has only being good to you. The experience taught me that a person may be good but not good for you. I broke up with him via WhatsApp 💔

It was horrible. I was sick. "God had better have a better plan for me for making me walk away from this", I said to myself. I chose to trust God blindly.

Meanwhile, Ehigocho... TO BE CONTINUED 

P.s...we officially clocked 3 years in marriage on the 24th of January (registry marriage), while our traditional and church weddings held on the 1st and 2nd of February...so this entire week is my anniversary. If y'all show me enough love, I will drip the conclusion of this series tonight.

Your favourite writer girl,

Love.