Identity

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This was my identity while studying in the University of Abuja. It was my point of reference. No one ever asked of your name, all they needed was your number. It was the number you needed to go check your result when they were released. It was my pride and joy. It was my strength and my weakness too. If points were to be awarded, it was to this number and if someone was to deliberately attack me academically, this number was all the needed. I carried this number with so much confidence. It was my secret weapon. It was what set me apart from every other person in my department. It was my unique feature.
As a fresh jambite, we were to take our course forms for signing to the respective lecturers. I was done with the lecturers in my department but we also had elective courses from other departments. I went to one of this other departments to sign and knocked on a door. I stated my purpose, he asked me to sit. After a while, he started to come towards me. He tried to touch me. I jumped up, I was so scared. I was 16 years old. I gathered my papers to leave and he said when I was ready to get it signed, I should return. It was like replaying a Nollywood script.
I never went back. Lectures began and I never saw him come to our class. Turns out he was not even the lecturer for the course. He only tried to take advantage of me because he knew I was naive. We met again in 300 level 1st semester. This time he was one of our examination invigilator. We had been taken to a Government secondary school called Gado Nasco to write our exams. I entered into that school premises and my eyes met with his. I thought he would not remember. I greeted him and he said to me ‘You think you can escape from me. If I want to deal with you, I know how to get you.’ I just walked away. I knew I needed to protect my identification number from this man, that was the only way he could attack me. He could connive with a lecturer from my own department to frustrate me. So I hid. I did not want him to see the class I was writing since there were many classes. Unfortunately, he found out my class. Answer booklets were shared and as usual, we were told to fill in our details. This man came and stood in front of me and I refused to write. He stood there and kept gazing at me and i just stared into thin air. He moved and I filled in my details and he was back again. So I used my elbow to cover what I had written. I knew he could not yank off my hand in full glare of everyone. Question papers had been shared at this time and I was not writing because my number had already been written on every page of the booklet. He was really taunting me. After what felt like forever, he left and never came back to the class. He failed at getting the necessary tool to attack me.
In my second semester in the same 300level, a lecturer who had been taking us since 100level paid me a compliment as I ran into him after class. He said ‘You’re so beautiful. Just like my wife.’ And I thanked him and went my way. The following Monday, I got a text message that said ‘Meet me at Atlas hotel, 10AM on Thursday.’ I was sure it was a mistake. On the said Thursday, a call comes in. I pick and it’s that same lecturer. He says this is Dr xxx. I’m surprised as to why he will be calling me and then he says he has been waiting for me at the hotel 😃😃 I ask him if all is well, he says not to be stupid. So I tell him I am unavailable. He sends another text the next Monday. I ignored it, he called on the Thursday  (I think Thursdays are his thing) and I ignored his calls. From then on, he decided to make my life a living hell. He would ask me out of his class for no reason. I was worried. He has my identification number, knows my name and was taking us 2 courses that semester. Mind you throughout 100 and 200 level, I had As in all his courses. At that point, I had calculated my GPA, I actually had a shot at a 1st class. I needed 6 As that semester. I had it worked out. Results were released and this man gave me 2 Cs. I say this without pride, I am not a C student. My course mates were shocked. It had never happened before. Who do I report to? I was told to thank God he did not fail me. But to me a C was a fail. My dream of a 1st class went out the window. Although I was best graduating student, I didn’t hit that 4.5 mark and I was so close. He knew what to attack and how to use it.
Samson fell in love with a woman called Delilah and let her in on his secret weapon and his source of power, his identity. He told her his strength was in his hair and she cut it. People only attack what you expose. They can only work with the information that you give them. Don’t let just anyone in on your strength and or weaknesses. It is a tool and can be used against you. What people don’t know they can’t attack. Keep your relationships and families private. Don’t display your budding plans just so you can #pepperdem. Protect your happiness with everything you have. Do not give away cheaply what you spent years toiling to get.

I repeat again, protect your happiness.

I ain't no Sapphira

I attended a boarding school and at the end of WAEC and NECO examinations, I was so excited to be back home. My dad asked how the exams went and wanted to know if there was any exam malpractice. I told him how I saw people talk here and there, nothing major but of course, I did not participate. Or did I? I chose to conceal that information because technically I did not do anything. Ssssh Holy Spirit not now!

And then we got the news that WAEC result had been released. My result was beautiful but I could not find my Commerce result. It was not relevant to my course choice but it was my second favourite subject and I wanted to know how well I did. My dad was very upset. WAEC had no right to withhold my Commerce, he said. He started making calls, said he needed an explanation. Then I remembered!!! I began to panic and sweat. During the Commerce exam, the student behind me couldn't come up with anything on his sheet and without permission as I raised my hand to submit,the invigilator took my sheet and passed it to that student to copy. There was nothing I could do.

Now back to reality, I don't know what to do. I'm thinking, perhaps this boy copied verbatim and WAEC found out? I had to confess to save my father the embarrassment. So I walked in, my head bowed and I said 'Daddy, I let somebody copy my Commerce exam maybe that's why WAEC refused to release it.' He was so disappointed. Not because I let somebody copy me (even though in my house talking in exam is still cheating. We don't talk 😂) but because he asked me and I lied by refusing to say the complete truth. He still whisked me off to WAEC office weeks later and we were told I had a perfect score in Commerce so they just needed to be sure before it was released. Phew!!! So you mean it's not because somebody copied me🤔 Really though HolySpirit, you had to drag me like this to get me to confess? The Commerce result was eventually released and it was a beautiful A1.

The thing with the HolySpirit is that just being an accomplice or being aware lands you the same punishment as the proprietor. I mean look at Sapphira in Acts 5:2 (JM AMP) 'And with his wife's knowledge...HE kept back some of the proceeds'. He (Ananais) wanted to dupe God. Sapphira's crime was that she was aware and tried to cover up. The same judgment of death that came on the husband fell on the wife too. Both husband and wife were obviously church people, it was their money and it probably was not convenient to give it all. All Ananais needed to do was speak the truth. Sapphira had no hand in this except that she chose to cover him. The HolySpirit does not joke yo. He can be gentle but don't test Him.

You know that Nigerian song that says 'I no go lie to you but I fit lie for you' 😅 Don't do it o. No one is worth grieving the HolySpirit for. Don't be like Sapphira. DO NOT TELL LIES (small, large, extra large~ they are all lies)

Peace and love,

Love.

As usual, if this has blessed you, please share.

When it rains....

When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars

The other day, someone called me up requesting for coconut oil and I found myself passing on Nifemi's dad's contact to this person gladly. Then it hit me, I am really healed. Finally, I've been set free from hurt and pain. Nifemi's dad and I have been separated for a while (ghenghen!!!! Exclusive). Prior to this, I had moved out 8 times but I've never really felt sure until this time around. For such a long time, I felt like such a loser. I remember mailing one of my mentors who I have never met before and I typed 'I saved my virginity for this man, why would this happen. So my virginity just wasted😅'  He gracefully replied saying 'you did not save it for him, you simply honoured God'. Yes I've been hurt, abused, heck I even contemplated suicide in this marriage but I would be lying if I say there are only sour tales. Today, I want to celebrate everything Nifemi's dad taught me in our 4 years of marriage:

*I like to think of myself as a technical guru 😂 He taught me all those complicated cables. I can set up a home theatre yo. Plus I can enter NEPA credit, change face (or is it phase?) Plus I can manipulate my way on the switch board when there is no power supply in a part of the house. Clap for me 😁 Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*He really did like my make-up. If I do decide in future to take make-up professionally, I'll never forget how much he believed in it. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*He increased my business acumen. Best business team ever. Raise your hand if you ever bought 'Traditions Coconut oil'. He was the producing officer and I was the marketer of life. We did make good money from it. And I got free coconut oil too. I used to prepoo my hair every week😂 It is very painful now that I have to go to stores to buy coconut oil like you all the masses. I keep praying to God I'm not buy-in fake😅 Please still hit him up if in need of coconut oil. Plus I sold chinchin at some point in my life to make ends meet and he did help out. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*I learnt how to have little and be content. Yo, we would literally scratch our bags for the last Kobo and we would get whatever it could afford us and we would be very content. Or the time e walked a very long distance back home.because we were so broke but we were content. Or the weeks we ate yam for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We were very grateful for that season. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*For teaching me how to reaaaaaallly cook. Whoosh not all the one I was doing before marriage. I am talking proper egusi, ogbono, don't even talk about my efo riro. He patiently took his time and we did practicals over and over again. Till I became the baddest chef ever (yes I say so myself). Of course I took refresher courses from DooneysKitchen. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*For helping me out during car troubles. I still don't know how to open the bonnet. So yeah, thank you Baba Nifemz.

*And For the Ultimate, we made the most perfect daughter everrrrr Angel Oluwanifemi Adeyemi. Phew, how else would my bestie have come to the world. Plus she loves both her parents so much. The way she says 'My name is Nifemi ADEYEMI' and I'm like who is dragging it with you aunty😄 so again, thank you Baba Nifemz.

I'm a firm believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason. And so I choose to see the rainbows and the stars. No, we will not n getting back together but this is how you can help- you can pray that God perfects all that concerns us and help us co-parent gracefully.

Romans 8:28- 'And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God...'

Peace and love always..

When I was leaving London finally in 2013, I shopped a lot for things I knew I would need in Nigeria. This beautiful H&M bag was one of them. At the time, it was quite pricy for me but I felt I would not always come across it and it was worth the investment. I imagined myself going to casual outings and picnics with cute jeans shorts and my lovely portable bag. 1,2,3 and then 4 years went by and I never used the bag. It was well wrapped and kept on top of my wardrobe where no hand could reach it. I just felt like I never had the perfect occasion to use it. No time ever felt right. So I kept it safe or so I thought. Few weeks ago, Nifemi started whining about wanting to carry a handbag to church. I then remembered my precious bag that was well hidden and protected. It's a petite bag, it would definitely suit her, I thought. So I got a stool, climbed up and brought it down and to my amazement, the leather had peeled off. Even Nifemi rejected it at this point (babe is high maintenance 😅).

 You see, the most precious of things cannot shine or reproduce when hidden. Trying to dim your light so others don't feel intimidated is shooting yourself in the foot. You cannot blossom whilst hidden.There is NEVER a perfect time. Maximize all that God has placed inside you and do it now because guess what? While you delay, He has passed the baton to someone else. No time!

I am not ashamed to admit that I behaved like that foolish servant in Matthew 25:14- 30 whose master gave $1000 and instead of going to invest it, he buried it. The Message translation is actually hilarious. Take a look at what happened when the master got back and he was giving his report:

“The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’
“The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.
“‘Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.’

Ya heard???? Get rid of that 'play-it-safe' mentality else your portion will be given to another. It would suck to let your priceless destiny go to waste because you chose to hide. Don't hide your talents, don't suppress your potentials, don't sell yourself short. You are fabulous, priceless and precious. You do not deserve to be hidden, so shine else you wither away. 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

#IseeGodInEverything
#TellerOfTales

Xoxo

As always, if this has blessed you, please do share. 😘😘😘

God bless you now and always