'♪Jimina, are you feeling me, Jimina, you are the dining hall rocket♫' And with a drumming pattern that sounded like DIM DIMKA DIM DIMKA the whole class would burst into the song using desks or stainless steel plates and spoons for rhythm.
Going to Gray's International College of Science, Management and Information Technology (GICSMIT) remains one of the greatest honours of my life. The day prospective students were given a tour of the school, I wondered where my parents would find the money. Somehow they did and I immediately felt out of place the moment I resumed. All the other new kids looked way cooler. My home clothes were bleh. So I was almost sleeping at the tailor's shop in school so as to get my uniform on time so that at least I would look like everyone else.
Gray College was really beautiful. I remember the several Ostriches and Peacocks that strolled the compound. They were so beautiful. Few weeks as a student in Gray, my classmates started to call me 'Jimina'. It means an Ostrich in Hausa. They said I had a small head and big body like an ostrich. I did not like like but there was nothing i could do about it.
Going to that kind of School meant that I only got my needs and not want. Being the foodie that I am, the 2 sets of provisions my parents graciously provided per month was not always enough so I never missed going to the school dining 3 times a day. Now, this was not something for cool kids. Cool kids did not go to the school dining, you would always find them at the school shop. I loved going to the dining so much that I started taking my plate and spoon to class so I would just go for my meal straight from class rather than go back to the hostel. Unfortunately during a class period, my plate fell from my bag and made a very loud noise and everyone started laughing and they nicknamed me 'The Dining Hall Rocket'. And so throughout my junior secondary school, I became known as 'Jimina, the dining hall rocket'.
Inferiority complex set in. I wished I was like the children of the Elites. They weren't bothered by seniors. Their life was easy. They had strong cliques. I remember after returning from one holiday, and one of the privileged ones had gone to the UK for summer and returned with matching wristwatches for her clique. They were 6 of them. They looked so good. I was so jealous. I desperately wanted to belong. Valentine day was horrible. People like me would sit and watch gifts being delivered to them by their crush or friends. Sometimes they sent people like me to deliver the gifts. Why didn't ANYBODY even like me? I had my beloved friend Sharon of blessed memory. She would say we should not worry about Stuff like that but it bothered me. Sharon would wake me up at night to pray but I would be embarrassed. I didn't want the cool kids to see us.
Then one day, Aisha Abdullahi (of blessed memory) started talking to me. She was a cool kid and so beautiful. I think I became obsessed with her. Finally, association with her would fix my social status. I was all up in her space. But no,her friends didn't treat me like her. I was angry. Like Rachel in Genesis 30 vs 1 who told Jacob 'Give me sons I die'. I was making a silent plea to Aisha 'Raise my social status or I die😁' When it wasn't happening, I tried to fix it too like Rachel. Rachel got her maid to have sons for her husband. She thought it would bring her satisfaction but she still felt empty(1-24). I opted to start washing Aisha's clothes🙈It would make us closer, I thought. It did make us closer but it did not change how people saw me. And one day, I just stopped.
I just did not care anymore. Frolicking with the cool ones did not satisfy me. I decided to do the things I loved. I read novels, wrote songs and joined the choir and started going to fellowship more . Very uncool things but I was happy. The teasing, nicknames and inferiority complex stopped. To my surprise, people wanted to be friends with me. Aisha remained one of my best friends and had a new respect for me. And then, someone had a crush on me😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 (trust me these things matter to teenagers) and he gifted me the most beautiful pink silicon band that had my name inscribed on it. I would hear someone give me a shoutout on the radio (there was a school radio station) and I knew finally, I cool too. This came by just being me. I did not stop going to the dining. Infact being a senior meant I could take my food to the hostel and the cool ones will beg you for 'one spoon' so all na packaging.God had taken away my humiliation like Rachel who finally decided to trust God and got her own child too. The things we so desperately crave rests in us being true to ourselves. No one can fix you. No one can give you happiness. No one can give you joy. If they give it, then it means they can take it away. Be founded first in God and others will find you. ❤
Love and light,
Love.
#TellerOfTales
#IseeGodInEverything
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