Identity

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This was my identity while studying in the University of Abuja. It was my point of reference. No one ever asked of your name, all they needed was your number. It was the number you needed to go check your result when they were released. It was my pride and joy. It was my strength and my weakness too. If points were to be awarded, it was to this number and if someone was to deliberately attack me academically, this number was all the needed. I carried this number with so much confidence. It was my secret weapon. It was what set me apart from every other person in my department. It was my unique feature.
As a fresh jambite, we were to take our course forms for signing to the respective lecturers. I was done with the lecturers in my department but we also had elective courses from other departments. I went to one of this other departments to sign and knocked on a door. I stated my purpose, he asked me to sit. After a while, he started to come towards me. He tried to touch me. I jumped up, I was so scared. I was 16 years old. I gathered my papers to leave and he said when I was ready to get it signed, I should return. It was like replaying a Nollywood script.
I never went back. Lectures began and I never saw him come to our class. Turns out he was not even the lecturer for the course. He only tried to take advantage of me because he knew I was naive. We met again in 300 level 1st semester. This time he was one of our examination invigilator. We had been taken to a Government secondary school called Gado Nasco to write our exams. I entered into that school premises and my eyes met with his. I thought he would not remember. I greeted him and he said to me ‘You think you can escape from me. If I want to deal with you, I know how to get you.’ I just walked away. I knew I needed to protect my identification number from this man, that was the only way he could attack me. He could connive with a lecturer from my own department to frustrate me. So I hid. I did not want him to see the class I was writing since there were many classes. Unfortunately, he found out my class. Answer booklets were shared and as usual, we were told to fill in our details. This man came and stood in front of me and I refused to write. He stood there and kept gazing at me and i just stared into thin air. He moved and I filled in my details and he was back again. So I used my elbow to cover what I had written. I knew he could not yank off my hand in full glare of everyone. Question papers had been shared at this time and I was not writing because my number had already been written on every page of the booklet. He was really taunting me. After what felt like forever, he left and never came back to the class. He failed at getting the necessary tool to attack me.
In my second semester in the same 300level, a lecturer who had been taking us since 100level paid me a compliment as I ran into him after class. He said ‘You’re so beautiful. Just like my wife.’ And I thanked him and went my way. The following Monday, I got a text message that said ‘Meet me at Atlas hotel, 10AM on Thursday.’ I was sure it was a mistake. On the said Thursday, a call comes in. I pick and it’s that same lecturer. He says this is Dr xxx. I’m surprised as to why he will be calling me and then he says he has been waiting for me at the hotel 😃😃 I ask him if all is well, he says not to be stupid. So I tell him I am unavailable. He sends another text the next Monday. I ignored it, he called on the Thursday  (I think Thursdays are his thing) and I ignored his calls. From then on, he decided to make my life a living hell. He would ask me out of his class for no reason. I was worried. He has my identification number, knows my name and was taking us 2 courses that semester. Mind you throughout 100 and 200 level, I had As in all his courses. At that point, I had calculated my GPA, I actually had a shot at a 1st class. I needed 6 As that semester. I had it worked out. Results were released and this man gave me 2 Cs. I say this without pride, I am not a C student. My course mates were shocked. It had never happened before. Who do I report to? I was told to thank God he did not fail me. But to me a C was a fail. My dream of a 1st class went out the window. Although I was best graduating student, I didn’t hit that 4.5 mark and I was so close. He knew what to attack and how to use it.
Samson fell in love with a woman called Delilah and let her in on his secret weapon and his source of power, his identity. He told her his strength was in his hair and she cut it. People only attack what you expose. They can only work with the information that you give them. Don’t let just anyone in on your strength and or weaknesses. It is a tool and can be used against you. What people don’t know they can’t attack. Keep your relationships and families private. Don’t display your budding plans just so you can #pepperdem. Protect your happiness with everything you have. Do not give away cheaply what you spent years toiling to get.

I repeat again, protect your happiness.

I ain't no Sapphira

I attended a boarding school and at the end of WAEC and NECO examinations, I was so excited to be back home. My dad asked how the exams went and wanted to know if there was any exam malpractice. I told him how I saw people talk here and there, nothing major but of course, I did not participate. Or did I? I chose to conceal that information because technically I did not do anything. Ssssh Holy Spirit not now!

And then we got the news that WAEC result had been released. My result was beautiful but I could not find my Commerce result. It was not relevant to my course choice but it was my second favourite subject and I wanted to know how well I did. My dad was very upset. WAEC had no right to withhold my Commerce, he said. He started making calls, said he needed an explanation. Then I remembered!!! I began to panic and sweat. During the Commerce exam, the student behind me couldn't come up with anything on his sheet and without permission as I raised my hand to submit,the invigilator took my sheet and passed it to that student to copy. There was nothing I could do.

Now back to reality, I don't know what to do. I'm thinking, perhaps this boy copied verbatim and WAEC found out? I had to confess to save my father the embarrassment. So I walked in, my head bowed and I said 'Daddy, I let somebody copy my Commerce exam maybe that's why WAEC refused to release it.' He was so disappointed. Not because I let somebody copy me (even though in my house talking in exam is still cheating. We don't talk 😂) but because he asked me and I lied by refusing to say the complete truth. He still whisked me off to WAEC office weeks later and we were told I had a perfect score in Commerce so they just needed to be sure before it was released. Phew!!! So you mean it's not because somebody copied me🤔 Really though HolySpirit, you had to drag me like this to get me to confess? The Commerce result was eventually released and it was a beautiful A1.

The thing with the HolySpirit is that just being an accomplice or being aware lands you the same punishment as the proprietor. I mean look at Sapphira in Acts 5:2 (JM AMP) 'And with his wife's knowledge...HE kept back some of the proceeds'. He (Ananais) wanted to dupe God. Sapphira's crime was that she was aware and tried to cover up. The same judgment of death that came on the husband fell on the wife too. Both husband and wife were obviously church people, it was their money and it probably was not convenient to give it all. All Ananais needed to do was speak the truth. Sapphira had no hand in this except that she chose to cover him. The HolySpirit does not joke yo. He can be gentle but don't test Him.

You know that Nigerian song that says 'I no go lie to you but I fit lie for you' 😅 Don't do it o. No one is worth grieving the HolySpirit for. Don't be like Sapphira. DO NOT TELL LIES (small, large, extra large~ they are all lies)

Peace and love,

Love.

As usual, if this has blessed you, please share.

When it rains....

When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars

The other day, someone called me up requesting for coconut oil and I found myself passing on Nifemi's dad's contact to this person gladly. Then it hit me, I am really healed. Finally, I've been set free from hurt and pain. Nifemi's dad and I have been separated for a while (ghenghen!!!! Exclusive). Prior to this, I had moved out 8 times but I've never really felt sure until this time around. For such a long time, I felt like such a loser. I remember mailing one of my mentors who I have never met before and I typed 'I saved my virginity for this man, why would this happen. So my virginity just wasted😅'  He gracefully replied saying 'you did not save it for him, you simply honoured God'. Yes I've been hurt, abused, heck I even contemplated suicide in this marriage but I would be lying if I say there are only sour tales. Today, I want to celebrate everything Nifemi's dad taught me in our 4 years of marriage:

*I like to think of myself as a technical guru 😂 He taught me all those complicated cables. I can set up a home theatre yo. Plus I can enter NEPA credit, change face (or is it phase?) Plus I can manipulate my way on the switch board when there is no power supply in a part of the house. Clap for me 😁 Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*He really did like my make-up. If I do decide in future to take make-up professionally, I'll never forget how much he believed in it. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*He increased my business acumen. Best business team ever. Raise your hand if you ever bought 'Traditions Coconut oil'. He was the producing officer and I was the marketer of life. We did make good money from it. And I got free coconut oil too. I used to prepoo my hair every week😂 It is very painful now that I have to go to stores to buy coconut oil like you all the masses. I keep praying to God I'm not buy-in fake😅 Please still hit him up if in need of coconut oil. Plus I sold chinchin at some point in my life to make ends meet and he did help out. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*I learnt how to have little and be content. Yo, we would literally scratch our bags for the last Kobo and we would get whatever it could afford us and we would be very content. Or the time e walked a very long distance back home.because we were so broke but we were content. Or the weeks we ate yam for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We were very grateful for that season. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*For teaching me how to reaaaaaallly cook. Whoosh not all the one I was doing before marriage. I am talking proper egusi, ogbono, don't even talk about my efo riro. He patiently took his time and we did practicals over and over again. Till I became the baddest chef ever (yes I say so myself). Of course I took refresher courses from DooneysKitchen. Thank you Baba Nifemz.

*For helping me out during car troubles. I still don't know how to open the bonnet. So yeah, thank you Baba Nifemz.

*And For the Ultimate, we made the most perfect daughter everrrrr Angel Oluwanifemi Adeyemi. Phew, how else would my bestie have come to the world. Plus she loves both her parents so much. The way she says 'My name is Nifemi ADEYEMI' and I'm like who is dragging it with you aunty😄 so again, thank you Baba Nifemz.

I'm a firm believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason. And so I choose to see the rainbows and the stars. No, we will not n getting back together but this is how you can help- you can pray that God perfects all that concerns us and help us co-parent gracefully.

Romans 8:28- 'And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God...'

Peace and love always..

When I was leaving London finally in 2013, I shopped a lot for things I knew I would need in Nigeria. This beautiful H&M bag was one of them. At the time, it was quite pricy for me but I felt I would not always come across it and it was worth the investment. I imagined myself going to casual outings and picnics with cute jeans shorts and my lovely portable bag. 1,2,3 and then 4 years went by and I never used the bag. It was well wrapped and kept on top of my wardrobe where no hand could reach it. I just felt like I never had the perfect occasion to use it. No time ever felt right. So I kept it safe or so I thought. Few weeks ago, Nifemi started whining about wanting to carry a handbag to church. I then remembered my precious bag that was well hidden and protected. It's a petite bag, it would definitely suit her, I thought. So I got a stool, climbed up and brought it down and to my amazement, the leather had peeled off. Even Nifemi rejected it at this point (babe is high maintenance 😅).

 You see, the most precious of things cannot shine or reproduce when hidden. Trying to dim your light so others don't feel intimidated is shooting yourself in the foot. You cannot blossom whilst hidden.There is NEVER a perfect time. Maximize all that God has placed inside you and do it now because guess what? While you delay, He has passed the baton to someone else. No time!

I am not ashamed to admit that I behaved like that foolish servant in Matthew 25:14- 30 whose master gave $1000 and instead of going to invest it, he buried it. The Message translation is actually hilarious. Take a look at what happened when the master got back and he was giving his report:

“The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’
“The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! If you knew I was after the best, why did you do less than the least? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest.
“‘Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.’

Ya heard???? Get rid of that 'play-it-safe' mentality else your portion will be given to another. It would suck to let your priceless destiny go to waste because you chose to hide. Don't hide your talents, don't suppress your potentials, don't sell yourself short. You are fabulous, priceless and precious. You do not deserve to be hidden, so shine else you wither away. 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

#IseeGodInEverything
#TellerOfTales

Xoxo

As always, if this has blessed you, please do share. 😘😘😘

God bless you now and always

It is time to let go

My daughter, Nifemi and I attended a wedding sometime ago. I ran into an old friend of mine who was just meeting her for the first time. As is the norm, he reached for his pocket and gave her 'something' which was a N1000 note. I stylishly collected from her and put in my bag. It couldn't have come at a better time. I was in a very dry season. Y'all know those kind of seasons😂 broke but still looking fly. Anyhoo, in my head, I had finished spending that money. I had allocated it to different things. My mood was lightened up. This N1000 was really going to make my life easier. We got home and I dropped my bag on the bed and got into the kitchen to make something for us to eat. Unknown to me, Nifemi had gone to my bag, taken the money and tore it in two. Oh my chest😅 I think I may have had symptoms of a heart attack that day. I was first infuriated but then I thought to myself, 'I can fix this'. So I began to search frantically for the missing piece. 'I'll just use a cellotape, it will be fine'. Minutes turned to hours, hours to days, days to weeks, weeks to months and I never found the missing piece. I refused to let the other half go. I held on to 'what could have been' if that money was in hand. I asked if the banks could take It and I was told I needed the missing piece. I was obsessed with trying to figure out what time exactly she took it out of the bag. I became an FBI agent. It was too valuable to let go. Hundreds of N1000 notes have passed through my hands since then but I still clung to this one with the missing piece. Yesterday, I let it go. I have finally accepted that it is gone. It's been over a year and we have even changed houses, it's time to move on.

I would like to speak/write to people like me who have experienced some kind of loss. I made the decision earlier in the year to hand over my school to someone else and join my mum at the Headquarters. It was a very painful decision I was not willing to take. It was drowning me financially, emotionally and psychological. I knew I would have to make that decision sooner or later but I had invested tears and blood and I was not willing to let go. I held onto 'what could be of the school' maybe another month, maybe in a few months and so I continued to fall apart. Everyone counselled me to move on but I just could not. 'It has potential' I argued, just a few more months and I would be oKay. Well, I wasn't. I knew it was time. I handed over and I legit thought the school would be over. Not only has the school grown under new leadership, no pupil was lost and all staff remained. I cried. Look at God! I was holding so tightly when He wanted me to release it and watch it blossom.

Probably you might have lost a loved one to the cold hands of death and you just can't bring yourself to move on. You are holding so dearly to what could have been. God is asking you to let go. Or a business you have toiled so hard for and you can't just let it go. It is killing you but you'd rather die. There's a fine line between perseverance and foolishness. Let it go. Perhaps, you're a student in a wrong discipline and you know it. You have probably spent 2-3 years and you are wondering how to start over. Please do have a rethink. It makes no sense to hold unto something that is not working. Or you are probably engaged to be married and you know that Person is not your missing piece. So you try to fix it and manage the situation. Don't. Let it go. The missing piece will find you. You won't have to go crazy looking for it.

It is not cowardice to walk away, it takes strength. You are a hero. It is okay to move on. People may laugh and make snide comments, Yes. But YOU win in the end and that is what counts. That at the end when you look back on your life, you didn't just settle or manage or continually be in hope for something that was not meant to be but that your life is COMPLETE, MEANINGFUL and you are at REST.

P.S If you've ever had to deal with the death of a loved one, miscarriage, divorce, broken engagement, career change, business failure; know that you are the real MVP. There is more to your story.

Have a blessed week and if this has blessed you please do share with your family and friends. Thank you for your love always.

Peace, love and light ❤

The Ultimate MELTER of Life

For a few months, I had been feeling something hard in my left breast. Then it became painful and I knew I had to do something about it. On the 28th of January, 2017, I went for a breast screening and after examination, a mass of 4 cm/4 cm was discovered and I was asked to go for further tests. I did not have money for the Ultrasound I was asked to do, perhaps I would have gone straightaway from there. But you know how God orchestrates everything. I got home, got dressed and went to church for Choir rehearsal. I was even made to serve punishment because I was late. I did not have the energy to explain where I was coming from, so I let it be. The punishment was to pray in a corner for 30 minutes. I used the opportunity to surrender it all to Jesus but I was greatly afraid. With all the challenges in my life, I really could not handle any ailment. The next day, Pastor Sarah Omakwu preached on faith and by the end of service, I knew I was ready for war. I told no one but I would wake up at 4 am for battle and engage the heavens. I also continued to apply my anointing oil my dad had previously given to me but I continued to still feel it. One particular morning as I woke up at 4 am as usual to pray, the presence of God was so strong and I found myself flat on the ground in tears as I continued to worship and I heard very clearly, 'I will melt it away and I will heal you COMPLETELY'. That was the turning point. I entered thanksgiving mode and I decided to stop feeling the breast. One day, out of curiosity, I felt it and it was smaller in size. I laughed so hard, God had started the melting process. I went for the ultrasound on the 3rd of April, 2017 and this conversation ensued between the doctor and I.

Doctor: Wow, 4 cm???????? Let me check you immediately

*Pulls out machine and checks for like forever*

I can’t see anything

Me: Are you sure? Check again. Check the other breast too

Doctor: *Pours more of that their liquid thing and keeps checking* I can’t see anything. Everything is perfect.

Me: So what did they find before?

Doctor: I don’t know. But whatever it is, it is gone.

hahaha!!!!This God that I serve. Won't he do it!!! He melted it all away and healed me completely. Thank you Jesus.

xoxo

ONE YEAR AS AN ENTREPRENEUR- LESSONS LEARNT

O.Y.O IS YOUR CASE

You are ON YOUR OWN. The security that comes with paid employment is gone. You have to hustle and hustle very hard. Twice I have had to sell my phones to pay salaries because I couldn’t afford to delay salaries as my integrity was on the line.

YOU WILL SEE MONEY THAT YOU CANNOT SPEND

Once you start getting patronage, you may get too excited and think you have free money. No you don’t. For instance in my kind of business, I get paid in bulk but I have to share that money to cover 4 months salaries for staff.

YOU WILL BE CHEATED ON

Being a newbie sucks big time. I mean someone sold something worth N500 for N7, 000. I had a heart ache for 2 weeks. Plus I recommended the person to my mum…so we both got duped

YOU WILL LEARN TOUGH LESSONS

You will form close relationships, people will let you down, you will have to summon courage to let people go. Armed robbers carted away with valuables from the premises. I had to be strong. The show must go on. Its life

YOU WILL BE HAPPY………..THEN SAD

You will be deliriously happy finally walking in your purpose. You finally have a reason to jump out of bed every morning to impact your world. But then again your expectations will  may not be met and it can get frustrating. But as they say, great things take time. I’ve learnt that consistency is key. Great things they say take time. Keep working hun

PEOPLE SEE EVEN WHEN YOU CAN’T SEE THEM

I’ve learnt that you must keep putting in the work even when you are not making profit. You are doing this for the future. People are watching and these are the people you need to advertise your business. For instance, I got a referral from a notable figure around where my school is located. He doesn’t have kids in my school neither do I speak to him but because of proximity, he sees the work I put in. You need people.

YOUR COMPETITION WON’T BACK DOWN

Nope!!! I’ve had my banners torn and some of customers being cajoled to leave. I’ve had things some of my competition said and they have never even met me. I’ve heard some of my ideas which are very original being practiced in these schools. Probably from staff who were offered higher money to leave. People will feel threatened. You also cannot afford to take a break or back done. You can’t. I have learnt to keep churning ideas, so much so that they can’t keep up.

YOU CANNOT WALK ALONE

You need family and friends that can support you with money and services. In my business, I’ve had family and friends teach music, dance, etc. I couldn’t afford to pay for these things when I started and I need to do them so I had to hunt for free services…lol. Of course, I plan to return the favour. P.s Doreen is baking a free cake for our end of session party on the condition that I will patronize her when I can afford it. That is partnership people

YOU WILL DOUBT YOURSELF

You will not have it together all the time. Many times I asked myself if I made the right decision quitting my 9-5. Then, I expected my salary at the end of the month, now people expect their salaries from me at the end of the month. Shet!!!! That is A LOT of pressure. It is tough but you will get by. You will, trust me.

24 HOURS ARE NOT ENOUGH

Because you will be very committed to growing your business, you may neglect other things. You need to find time to rest else your health will suffer (I learnt the hard way). You also have to make time for other things that must come first..God, family, fitness, etc

YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOSS

Yikes!!! I can go out when I please. No more sign of the cross drama just to ask permission from my former boss. That feels soooooooo good. But then again that means being the one to pay myself. So I had a conversation with myself. I and me (see what I did there? Lol) decided I’ll have N10,000 as my salary monthly. We later cut it down to N5, 000. It later dropped to N2, 000. Lmao.i’ve had to deny myself the good things of life. The struggle to pay salaries is real yo. I just jejely bought my N700 sandal to be knacking everyday. So am I really a boss? Hmmm

FRIENDS WILL HAIL YOU

‘Chopping money things’ ’Madam at the top’ ‘Send me something now’ ‘Biggest boss’ These are some of the things you will hear. You better don’t let them deceive you, na only you know wassup.

Through it all ladies and gentlemen, you will feel immense satisfaction. A lot of people have ideas but only a few get up and do something about it. Get up and make it happen! 5 years from now you will be glad you did.

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. – Chinese proverb

If you enjoyed this, let me know in the comments and maybe I’ll share more lessons I’ve learnt with you.

Peace, love and sunshine

xo