HOW I MET MY HUSBAND 3

 This guy was a breath of fresh air. Bear in mind that I had begun to get suitors at this point. Including one who embarked on an 8 hour journey after I had said 'No' over the phone. Talmabout, "God said you are my wife". Miss me with that bruh! Na wetin first put me for trouble.

Anyhoo, this person was easy to talk with. Had this captivating and feathery voice. Too sweet. I had to ask if he did voiceovers or worked in a radio station. That's when he told me he was a thespian. Ah! Mo ti lazzdent! My father would never permit! (P.s I see him on my screen EVERYDAY because he is on a major soap opera on AfricaMagic showcase. When my husband and I began dating, it was uncomfortable watching him on screen together because I would always catch hubs using side eye to check for my expressions🤣 but now we analyse his TV character like there was no history).

It's funny how I didn't know him on the screen till we met then I began to see him everywhere. We began a relationship and he was the absolute best. We got my mum on our side and we're still plotting how to convince daddy to give his blessings when I had a dream. I saw us get married and go our separate ways. Omo! I cried o, begged God. Shared the dream with him, we prayed and cancelled it. A few weeks later, I had the dream again. Very clear.

Imagine breaking up with someone who has only being good to you. The experience taught me that a person may be good but not good for you. I broke up with him via WhatsApp 💔

It was horrible. I was sick. "God had better have a better plan for me for making me walk away from this", I said to myself. I chose to trust God blindly.

Meanwhile, Ehigocho... TO BE CONTINUED 

P.s...we officially clocked 3 years in marriage on the 24th of January (registry marriage), while our traditional and church weddings held on the 1st and 2nd of February...so this entire week is my anniversary. If y'all show me enough love, I will drip the conclusion of this series tonight.

Your favourite writer girl,

Love.

How I met my husband (2)

 One beautiful morning, Ehi walked into @redemptionacademyschools We were expanding and had put out a notice of vacancy.

My mum and I conducted the interviews that day. The interview held in my mum's office downstairs which is just directly opposite the gate. In that office, you get a good view of everyone as they enter and exit the building.

This is why I knew the exact moment he stepped in. He looked so good. He wore a blue checkered blazer, white shirt and black trouser. All I could think of was "Ahn ahn, what happen? You dress pass interviewer 😂".This was after the initial shock of seeing him yet again.

"Isn't that...?", I began to say to my mum but quickly dropped it. I had wanted to ask if she knew him from church. I didn't want to go over the details of how I was blessed by his ministration.

The interviews began. There were so many candidates. Some scaled to the next stage, others did not. Finally, it got to his turn. We spent the longest time with him. He had a wealth of experience. And then from nowhere my mum asks "So are you married?" (She asks this to gauge the stability of a prospective employee that has impressed her).

My ears immediately opened up. I was interested in knowing. "No, but I am in a relationship", he said. Ah tor...

His major is in Psychology and at the time, the school was believing God to send the right person for the Guidance and Counselling unit. Although that position was not advertised and he did not apply for it, my mum and I felt that we had found the one. He was slated for the next stage of the interview.

He was offered the job and he took it. I have to admit at this point that I liked him. Not as per relationship but as a person.

We barely ran into each other the first couple of months at work. In church however, we would have the common courtesy greeting that lasted a few seconds (apparently he thought I was married because I was always with my daughter. I had been separated a while and had even filed for a divorce at this time). We were both in the Choir and School WhatsApp groups so we both had access to each other's phone numbers.

I had to travel to Abuja for a couple of days to process a visa. By the second day of being away, I got a text message. "Hi. I noticed you've not been in school for two days now. I hope all is well? Ehi"

For some reason, that text made me smile. It felt nice that my absence was noticed. I replied him letting him know why I was away. I officially saved his number.

The next morning, I received another text from him. He was wishing me a hassle free time at the embassy. I did not reply. I did not know if to reply. I wasn't sure if it was wise to build a friendship with this person.

By evening of the same day, I got back to Kaduna. The unreplied text was hanging over my head all day so I finally replied. I let him know everything went well and I was back to town.

From then on, we exchanged more frequent pleasantries. One Friday, my mum and I came to work in the same car. I still had a ton of work to do by the time she was ready to leave. So I asked her to take the car and opted to walk home.

I was in my office by 4-ish when he was leaving. He was surprised to see me there since the car was not parked. He asked how I would go home and I said I was going to walk. He dropped his bag, took a seat and said he would wait for me so he could walk me home.

I wrapped up and that walk was the beginning of the beginning. We sang, gisted, laughed. We agreed to do a duet. The duet was finally happening. Without knowing it, I let down my defenses.

I went on the trip (the one I went to get a visa for) and then I met this guy...

Xoxo

Your favourite writer girl,
Love

OLUWAJOMILOJU

 It was a Saturday evening. We were in church for choir rehearsal. I was to take lead of the song. We were on stage. We had sang the song once but something was off with the syncopation of the instrumentalists. So we took a few minutes break for them to sort it out but still stayed on the stage.

Then I felt a trickle down my legs. 'Na sweat be this one abi na wetin', I thought to myself. It did not stop. Everywhere was noisy now. The singers had paired themselves up to gist while waiting for the instrumentalists. I told the next person I was going to the toilet just incase they asked after me.

I got to the toilet. No, it was not sweat. It was blood. I was losing my baby. I was wearing a black cloth, so I used a part of it to clean it, then I washed my hands.At that point I could hear my husband calling out for me. I put my legs tightly together to walk back in to avoid the blood trickle from dropping.

They were ready for me. I sang as tears welled up in my eyes. It was a good thing no one could see me as they were all behind me. I didn't tell my husband yet. I didn't want to distract him from rehearsal.

God so good, we sang it just once. I picked up a wrapper I took to church for Raphael and put it over the seat before I sat. I could feel the wrapper soaking up. Announcements were made and we closed. After everyone left, I told him what was happening. He helped me to the car.
-
We found out we were expecting a few weeks earlier. The plan was to conceive when Raphael clocked one. I meant it when I said I wanted to be done with babies by 30. But tada! A baby was on the way earlier. We were excited. Only to be losing the baby? We even had a scan o.
-
We got home that night and the blood began to gush with lumps. It was really happening. I cried and worshipped all through. I used layered sanitary towels to church, I still led the song and sang my heart out. Because even if I don't understand His ways, I trust Him.

It was painful but He said he will not give me more than I can bear. The foetus evacuated itself from my body throughout that week. By the next Saturday, we went for a scan where it was confirmed there was no longer a baby.

I cried o but we move.....

-
A few months (or is it even a month sef) down the line, He blessed us with Joshua. The most precious child ever. Now that I think about it, I think God was saving me. My body was not yet ready. Today, there is no more pain. He turned our mourning into dancing. He really surprised us which is why we named him "Oluwajomiloju". He is a reminder that God always keeps his word and has our best interests.

JJ will be 6 months old tomorrow. My carbon copy 😜 (haters will hate @ehigochosamuel) is officially a big boy.

Indeed, time is a healer.

Xx

Your favourite writer girl,
Love.

SURPRISE!!!

 "Babe, please follow me to the store. I want to surprise mummy with one bag like that". We left my mum with our kids and strolled out with only an ATM card in my pocket. I was going to pull off the perfect surprise. 

You see my mum ensures everyone's comfort before hers. I wanted to make her priority! Treat her like the queen she is. I had seen that particular bag while out with her one day and made a mental note to go back and get it. 

As we got to the store, shebi I was supposed to tell the attendants what I wanted and they would get it? But no, ITK went straight to the bag. I even had to stand on my toes to reach it. I pulled it down, held it in my left hand as I reached into my pocket for my card with my right hand. I looked around it for a price tag but there was none. My husband was engrossed in the male section admiring shoes. 

Cash Money like me, my hand was midway stretched out to hand over the card as I asked "How much?" 

"Nine hundred and fifty thousand naira ma", she replied. My chest did gbajodoyapiiiiiiiiiiiii. I just dey hear wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Almost simultaneously,  the bag dropped from my hand. I think it was out of shock. "Mo ti da ran, I don enter", I thought to myself. The sales rep rushed to pick it up before I could even move. I was praying to God that there would be no scratch on the bag from that fall. I remembered how I went to a supermarket with Nifemi and she knocked down a bottle of cashew nuts and the bottle broke and they made me pay. Shebi that one was N600. Where I wan enter with this one? 950k? Mo ya humble. Cash money without cash😂 

Then the owner of the store who was busy on her computer looked up and said to her sales rep "950,000? What is wrong with you. This one is One million naira". Then turning to me she said "Madam, you will enjoy this bag. It's an exclusive Ferragamo. I will advise you to just take it because when next you come,you won't meet it at this price because of exchange rate". Na 1 million, as in N1,000,000, we dey talk about o. I was sweating and the AC was on. 

I now said with a very polished accent "Kai, I'm not sure I like this colour. Do you have it in chestnut?" 😂😂😂 She replied in the negative. I said I would have to come another time then as I really wanted it in Chestnut. That's how God saved you people's cash money. Phew. Mo ya take off immediately. 

I went back to my mum's and said "I wanted to surprise you but I was the one that was surprised" 😂 

Thank God we serve the King of surprises who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, the original cash money. He said "...I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out. Don't you see it?...I'm making a road through the desert" (Isa 43:19 MSG). What is Ferragamo to my God, ordinary 1m? Abeg make them getat. 

May God give you a pleasant surprise that will cause ears to tingle. 

Peace, love and pleasant surprises, 

Your favourite writer girl,

Love.

Final episode. Happy Endings continued

 Thirty Tales

Final Episode

On happy endings (Continued)

I made a personal decision not to discuss the circumstances surrounding my divorce at the time. This left room for a lot of speculation. People who knew nothing about what transpired were giving full on details. I was shocked. I was hearing things about myself that I did not even know.

It became serious when 'they' began to contact Ehi and his family. Chief among these rumours was that I could not have more children. He was told that I was driven out due to my inability to coceive again after my daughter. 

Another ridiculous one was that my parents paid Ehi to quickly marry me to cover up their shame. Gosh!

It was literally us against the world. We would drive by and look in the side mirror and see people talking about us and pointing fingers. Someone told me of a conversation about me that was being held in a bus. I no kill person oh!

But I had seen enough bullsh*t (excuse my French) to care what others thought about something that wasn't their concern. 'They' were not there when I almost died. God so good, he gave me a man who knew what he wanted and NEVER faltered.

I must admit, the infertility rumour got to me and I started second guessing my faith. Was it true that I did not take in after my daughter? True. But I had seen it as God sparing me from further ties. When the rumours began to spread, I thought to myself "Perhaps, I may be barren". Ehi refused to let me wallow in fear. We forged on. You can imagine my surprise when we took in immediately. Ntorrr to the haters 😛

Our journey has been nothing short of amazing. It was like God just said it was time for me to be pampered. This man LOVES me. It is almost unreal. I was speaking with my mother the other day and I told her I do not like to share about my marriage because people will not believe me. It sounds too good to be true but it is true. I've never met anyone so selfless, so loving, so caring. I cannot quarrel with this man because I will be quarreling with myself. Just small squeezing of face, he has plastered my face with kisses. He moves mountains to ensure our comfort before his.

God has done me well. Ehi is the highlight of my decade. He has brought so much joy into my life and the lives of our children. He is my best friend in every sense of the word. I cannot imagine my life without him.

It all makes sense now. All the broken roads I had to take was to bring me here. I will never take this gift of a great marriage for granted. I have seen the opposite and I can never wish it on my worst enemy. Every area of my life is flourishing because I am at peace. 

If you know my husband and you see him anywhere or if you have his number; please help me thank him for being a great husband. Tell him I stan him forever.

It's our anniversary also tomorrow. It is a double celebration for us. I look forward to the next decade and the next and the next............with Ehi by my side. God has been faithful to us.

Thank you for coming on this journey with me. Thirty Tales has been amazing. I have connected and reconnected with so many people. It has been a great experience for me.

Till next time,

Your favourite writer girl,

Love.

Episode 8. Happy Endings

 On Happy Endings

The first time I set my eyes on my husband was in church. He was leading the choir and it was the most beautiful thing ever. I had been back home about a month but I had not resumed with the choir. The song he led broke me so much, I decided I would return to my place of service immediately.

The next time we ran into each other again was in Redemption Academy. Working in the same place, attending the same church and singing in the same choir made it inevitable for us to always run into each other.

We fast became great friends. The first connection was the music. Singing together was magical every time.

Post divorce, I said I was not interested in any relationship or even marriage again. I remember my counsellor trying to get me out of this mindset several times. I just wanted to focus on God, myself and my child.

But then I started to get marriage suitors. It was weird. I remember one travelling almost 8 hours to see me and in my mind I was like "bruh, ko necesstri. I'm not doing this marriage thing again o". It was like God rubbed one attention cream on my face that kept attracting men. And they were quality men. I would often gist Ehi (my husband) about these guys and we would laugh over it. Ehi was in a relationship at the time.

Then I met this sweet guy and started catching feelings. Sister Love that said she will not marry 😂. He was such an awesome person. We began dating and plans were already underway to see my parents when I started to get dreams. God mostly communicates with me via dreams so I take them very seriously. In the dreams, we were fighting a lot. Each time I prayed about them, I heard clearly that he was not my husband. I cried o. A person might be good but not good FOR YOU. I called it off and blocked him everywhere because my heart could not take it. Then I asked Ehi to help me call him when my book #31mornings was released. I wanted to send a copy since he was a strong support at the writing stage. He declined. It was a painful season but God gave us grace to both move on. P.s during this relationship, Ehi was getting jealous that I did not have his time again. Uncle I don't get it, face your own relationship na 😝

I was on my own minding my business when I dreamt and saw myself in a wedding dress and Ehi in a suit. I did not tell anyone, I refused to admit what it meant. Then my mother dreamt twice that she saw both of us getting married. Then somebody else and then another. Ha God! Off your mic, I have heard. I started catching feelings but I had to lock up😂

So basically, I knew Ehi was my husband but he did not know and I wasn't going to tell him.😂 My beloved aunty Taiwo always says "God is not a gossip. If he needs someone to know something, he can tell the person by himself". Of course there are exceptions but on that matter, God was going to have to tell him by himself. I wasn't getting involved.

We continued being great friends but I did not want to make it easy for God😄 so I began to withdraw. Ehi noticed and asked what was going on. I told him I felt we were too close especially as he was in a relationship. I told him it made me really uncomfortable (and it really did) and asked that he kindly limit his calls and messages to me. I stopped calling from my end except when it was necessary.

Then one day! Somebody say 'One day!', brother Ehi's eyes were opened. It was a Sunday evening. I got a call from him that he was outside my door. I let him in and he told me he had been on a journey for the last few weeks. The break I had given our friendship made him realise he could not live without me. I was his sun, his life, his everything (I'm adding my own jara😆).

He told me he had ended his relationship and beggeddddddddd me to be in his life. I am not a wicked person 😁 so I did not let him beg too long since I already knew he was my husband (plus I was already head over heels in love but had to lock up. Please let's not tell him).

He went to see my mum and dad separately and sought their permission. I was impressed! We officially began courting.

Then the rumours began...

Your favourite writer girl,
Love

On Divorce. Episode 7

 

 Episode 7

Thirty Tales

On divorce

Imagine this scenario:

You live in Nigeria. Light is unstable which also makes availability of water unstable since you have to pump your own water with electricity. The sensible thing to do is to have water storage just in case light fails, you have some water to use.

-

The water in one of the pales you stored water is already a month old. You keep making mental notes to change the water but you keep forgetting. It is December, the harmattan is at its peak and the water in your storage container is icy-cold.

-

Your child had a rough night and slept late. Of course you had to watch over her and barely slept. But you have to go to work and you have to take her with you. You manage to get up and bath. To give your child extra minutes of sleep, you decide to get your make up done and even put on your work clothes before waking her. You are now fully dressed for work.

-

You wake your child, take her to the bathroom and start to bath her while taking extra care not to spill water on your dress. At that moment, your spouse wakes up. "Good morning", you manage to mutter. You are very unhappy. "That's how to greet abi, it's like you don't have sense", he replies. You do not want any trouble, so you say nothing. You continue to bath your child. "Is it not you I am talking to?", he queries. You ignore. Your spouse then steps into the bathroom, picks up the one-month old pale of icy-cold water and pours it on you from your head. You immediately push your child backwards so the water does not touch her. You are shivering. Your hair is wet. Your makeup is ruined. Your dress and inner wears are drenched in water. You still do not say or do anything. You get out of the bathroom, dress up your child, change your clothes and drive out with your child without uttering a word.

-

But why? Why do nothing? Because it will be worse. You had been told not to fuel his anger by retaliating with words. Because of the constant migraines you had from been hit on the head. Because you barely escaped with your right eye one of the times. Because you had just taken a body scan. Those ones where something is connected to your hand and it reads on a laptop screen. You had just been shown something on the screen. You did not know what it meant but then you were told one of your brain nerves was weak or damaged (I can't remember the exact term). You were asked your medical history and everything checked out but then you were asked "did you have an accident? Has there been any hit to your head?". Of course you say no but you kow where the issue is coming from. Because you need those migraines to stop badly. You tell no soul of what you have just learnt but you are determined to stay alive so you opt for silence. 

You take it all in but then one day comes. The day you decide to truly live. You finally exhale.

-

You can stop imagining now. This used to be me.

Am I here to argue on the biblical/moral grounds for divorce? Nope. I am just here to say that IF the time comes when you have to choose between being alive and your marriage, I hope you choose your life.

Your favourite writer girl,

Love.